girlz nite in

papa has to work tonite. he says it's the biggest night of the year & he'll make us a lot of money. mama is going with him because she says it's important for the two of them to spend new year's eve together.

auntie serena & marie-claire are going to watch polly tonite. mama called it a "girlz nite in" & told polly she can watch videos & stay up all nite long if she wants, just this once. polly immediately asked can they watch all of her favourite dvds, the wizard of oz AND whale rider AND chitty chitty bang bang? mama said sure, you're the host so you're in charge of the entertainment & the food.

polly also noticed that auntie serena & marie-claire are friends again which was on her christmas list. (thanks santa!)

mama said they would call her at midnite to wish her a happy new year.

polly was excited trying to figure out what to feed everybody. she wants to serve all her favourite foods: microwaved yam with maple syrup, vegie chicken nuggets, hummus & garlic pita chips & olives & celery & dried pineapples. and green tea with soy milk & 9 sugars. and those salty dried cherries from the store in chinatown.

mama said that sounded fine but someday you'll have to realize that not everybody in the world is vegan or even vegetarian & you have to be tolerant of that.

polly said she IS tolerant, grandma isn't vegie & neither is click. and papa isn't even vegan he eats pizza sometimes & that's ok with her.

mama said yes i suppose that's true but polly didn't think she really meant it.

confessions on a dance floor

confessions on a dance floor is papa's pick for best album of 2005. polly likes madonna ok but likes the spice girls better. lucky star is a good song & so is holiday. papa says those songs are way older than her & without madonna there would be no spice girls because madonna invented girl power. papa says madonna has something called longevity. polly asked click what that means & click said it's just a fancy way of saying somebody's old but still relevant.

polly was still confused because she doesn't know what relevant means.

bucky done gone

this is polly's favourite song of 2005. it's by M.I.A., her new favourite mc. click says it doesn't count because she got the album for christmas & she hasn't listened to it enough. what about tell you know or nanny nanny boo boo or tko by le tigre which you couldn't stop listening to over the summer? what happened to le tigre? or what about jam for the ladies by moby or moby's cover of temptation or surfing on a rocket or kelly watch the stars or cherry blossom girl by air?

polly said yeah, those are all my favourites too.

click said she can only pick one but polly was too busy jump roping & singing bucky done gone.

london!!!! quiet'n down i need to make a sound...

new york!!!! quiet'n down i need to make a sound...

kingston!!!! quiet'n down i need to make a sound...

brazil!!! quiet'n down i need to make a sound...

jerk it out

this is clickitty's favourite new song of 2005. it's by the caesars & you should get it. click says the album (paper tigers) has a postmod/ska/elvis costello/morrissey kinda vibe. polly doesn't know what he's talking about. she thinks the song is ok but she doesn't like it as much as click.

peace out, she'll kill ya like uma

polly's new favourite album is arular by M.I.A. who is a west london mc named maya arulpragasam. daljit gave her the cd for christmas. polly says it's good music for jump rope or roller blades. her favourite song is bucky done gone. clickitty says 10 dollar has the first & as far as he knows only reference to kill bill by quentin tarantino in a song.

mama wouldn't let polly watch kill bill because she said it was too violent.

they're not really lost

lost is on too late for polly but papa tivo's it & she watches it with him sometimes. she doesn't really understand what's going on. why are they lost? papa says they aren't really lost they live in hawaii near lola, her other grandma. polly thinks papa watches it because it reminds him of where he grew up. so polly keeps watching it with him so that he won't feel homesick.

lost is a little bit scary but it's ok because she can hide behind papa.

her favorite person on the show is hurley because he's like a big sad bear & he likes to say dude. anytime polly says dude, everybody laughs!

polly's brand new loft bed!

polly also got a giant box that papa said was a new bed for her.

it wasn't a christmas present because papa said furniture is a crappy present for a kid. later polly said she liked this present best of all! polly didn't know what a loft bed was so mama said it was like a bunk bed with only one bunk & underneath you could make a little room just for you. papa isn't very good with tools & it took him a long time to put it together. he also got mad & said some swear words & mama said we should leave him alone for a little bit.

when he finally let polly back in her room she was so excited she squealed. the bed was 6 feet tall & had a ladder! then mama & auntie serena came in with their staple guns & fabric & decorated. they hung bedsheets from india to make it look like a tent & tibetan prayer flags & christmas lights & a union jack flag on the ceiling & then auntie serena gave her lots of new pillows made out of pink & blue fun fur. then polly climbed up there & said it was just like a treehouse or maybe even a sailing ship!

papa said ok be careful i don't want you to roll outta bed & break your neck.

polly looked down & the floor looked pretty far away. she sure was high up! then she said i'll sleep by the wall & it will be ok papa.

what polly got for christmas

polly fell asleep on the couch waiting for morgan freeman/santa & woke up in her bed. when she went back to the living room there were so many presents she couldn't see the base of the tree!! she got 2 sets of pjs, polly wanted to give one to daljit but she liked both colors (red & lime green), but then mama said she knew where santa got them in chinatown & we can go there tomorrow. she got stuff she didn't even know she wanted like warm fuzzy leopard print slippers, roller blades so she can ice skate all year long, a black t-shirt that said new york girl, a tea set made of real china from grandma & an antique dolly that she's not allowed to play with so what's the sense in that and daljit gave her a cd by M.I.A., a london dj named maya.
polly went ice skating with daljit so she couldn't try out her new rollerblades. so she wore them to bed & fell asleep dreaming about skating in the olympics.

lullaby of london

polly's too busy playing with everything santa left for her & later she's going ice skating with daljit so she asked click to do the christmas post.

clickitty is ambivalent about christmas. polly didn't know what that word meant so he said he likes it & he doesn't like it. he likes how happy the kids get & all the decorations but he doesn't like all the pressure the holiday can make everybody feel & how it can bring up old disappointments in families. click wants everybody to know that christmas is really a roman holiday & santa is a marketing scheme by coca cola but he also says whatever, dude.

lullaby of london is clickitty cat's favourite christmas song. it's by the pogues & has nothing to do with christmas. it's melancholy & irish & has this blessing in it:

may the wind that blows from haunted graves,
never bring you misery!
may the angels bright watch you tonight
and keep you,
while you sleep...

happy christmas, world!

morgan freeman is really santa part3

polly just wanted to wish everybody a happy christmas to & remind everybody that morgan freeman is really santa claus. she's spending the night on the couch in front of the tree to see if she can catch him.

baby it's cold outside

one christmas when polly was even littler she made a bunch of stars out of tin foil & old cereal boxes from the recycle. it was hard to cut the stars because the cardboard was thick & the scissors made her fingers hurt. but then mama said we’re a buddhist family & we’re not gonna get a tree because we don’t celebrate christmas. polly was disappointed but she said ok mama & put the stars in the recycle & tried not to think about christmas anymore. polly was pretty sure santa couldn’t find them anyways because their apartment didn’t have a fireplace or a chimney.

that saturday papa woke polly up & told her to get dressed & put on your coat & boots & hat & mittens. he took her uptown & they spent the whole day looking at all the christmas window displays. papa asked her if she wanted to see santa but polly said santa looked really busy & didn’t know what to say anyway so they went ice skating instead.

but the real surprise was papa took her to a christmas tree lot & bought a tree that was almost as tall as polly! what will mama say, polly asked. it’s ok, papa told her. we’ll just tell her it’s a bodhi tree. only you me & santa will know it’s really a christmas tree.

by the time they bought the bodhi tree it was already dark & time to go home. but they wouldn’t let papa on the subway with the tree. or the bus. it started to snow & none of the cabs would stop for them. polly said maybe we should just throw the tree away right here on the curb. but papa said don’t talk that crazy talk how is santa supposed to find us if we don’t have a tree?

polly said it’s no use, he’s not coming because we don’t have a fireplace. papa said in the city santa uses the fire escape or the super keeps the roof access door open so don’t you worry about that.

polly & papa started to walk the 30 blocks home. polly got really cold & tired but didn’t want to say anything because she was so happy about the tree. then papa picked her up & carried her AND the tree. he taught her the words to baby it’s cold outside & they sang it together.

mama called on the cellphone wondering where everybody was and after a while she met them & carried polly until they all got home. polly was so tired she went straight to bed.

in the morning polly woke up & ran to the living room & there was the tree! all her stars were on it, along with lights & ornaments & sparkly stuff that she didn’t even know they had! polly got a lot of presents, like sweaters & new boots & wizard of oz dvd but her favorite was a stuffed cat in red overalls that she decided to name clickitty.

that was polly’s first christmas. now every year they burn incense under the bodhi tree & sing baby it’s cold outside!

ostrich pizza

polly's excited about christmas!

except somebody from school told her that in china they eat ostrich pizza on christmas & that sounds just plain crazy.

daljit says don't say crazy, say "mad"…

click says they eat a lot of animals in china, from hummingbirds to ostriches, they think it's ok. they also eat bear gall bladders, shark fins & bird's nest soup. which is ironic because they also invented tofu, which is the world's greatest food product.

but polly isn't too concerned with animal rights tonite because she's overwhelmed with the idea of a bunch of presents for her that she gets to have in less than 2 days. polly says she might spend the night on the couch so she can watch the tree all night long.

just in case santa shows up early.

is it a restaurant?

polly heard mama talking to papa about auntie serena & marie claire. she said marie claire was going into rehab & papa said that was a good idea & about time & hope it works. polly doesn't know what rehab is. she's not even sure how to spell it.

is it a restaurant?

mama was talking serious like she was sad.

polly asked click what's rehab but he didn't know either. that was funny because click likes to pretend he knows everything. clickitty said let's google it & see what we get, but that was even more confusing because all those websites were about drugs.

elvis was a capricorn

here's polly dressed as a director for all you capricorns. it was hard to find a capricorn costume that didn't involve goats. polly doesn't think she'd like being a director because she doesn't like to yell at people & tell them what to do.

she does like it when everybody's quiet, though.

she also likes that chair, she has it in her room.

sneakin' out to see marie-claire

everyday papa picks up polly after school & takes her straight home. but sometimes he stops at the record store to look for records & talk to his friends. every day last week polly carried marie-claire's christmas card in her backpack because she knew if papa went to the record store she could sneak out when he was listening to records & go around the corner to the coffee house where marie-claire works. finally today she got her chance

polly saw marie-claire working the cash register & ran inside & threw her arms around her. marie-claire started crying & that made polly cry too. i’m sure gonna miss you sweet pea, marie-claire said. i’m gonna miss you too, polly sniffed.

i made you a card, polly told her.

that made marie-claire cry some more. i will always be there for you, she promised. forever. i gotta go, polly said & ran out of the coffee shop & back to the record store.

papa didn’t even notice she was gone. why are you crying, he asked as they walked home. polly didn’t want to get marie-claire in anymore trouble so she said she saw a dead pigeon.

that’s ok babe, papa said. now that pigeon can get reincarnated into something else. like maybe a rat or a subway alligator… polly knew papa was trying to make her laugh, but she didn't think it was funny.

morgan freeman is really santa, part deux

morgan freeman sent polly a picture!

polly never gets mail but there was a big envelope waiting for her on the kitchen table when she got home from school. the picture said "to polly, best wishes this holiday season, sincerely, morgan freeman". polly wanted to put the picture on the top of the tree next to the golden om but papa said why don't we put it on the fridge instead.

then polly skipped around the living room chanting santa wrote me back! santa wrote me back! until papa said settle down or you'll have to take a nap.

into the west

mama plays this song for polly before bedtime.

polly thought the lord of the rings was scary & there was too much fighting. she couldn't watch it but she thinks the lady that sings this song sounds like an angel.

click says the lady is annie lennox & she used to be in a group called the eurythmics. they had a buncha hits in the 80's but one of his favourites was called sweet dreams. then marilyn manson covered it & made the song all creepy & scary.

polly saw a picture of marilyn manson on a cd once & got so scared she wanted to cry.

vegan french toast

polly wishes somebody would invent vegan french toast because it smells really good & looks really good but polly won't eat it because of the eggs & the milk. she tried pouring maple syrup on regular toast but that tasted awful. clickitty says in france they call french toast pain perdue which means lost bread. polly said that's interesting but how is it gonna help us get vegan french toast?

ice skating!

papa thought he could distract polly from wanting to see marie claire by taking her ice skating. he was right. polly loves to ice skate; that's how she can tell it's almost christmas is when papa takes her ice skating. polly sure is a good skater! she loves to move fast & zoom around the rink & listen to all the christmas music . she even likes how cold her toes get.

afterwards she was so tired papa had to carry her home.

morgan freeman is really santa

polly is convinced morgan freeman is really santa claus. she came to this conclusion after watching bruce almighty. this is only a problem when she sees a department store santa. she calls them fake santas. she doesn't want to talk to a fake santa. polly doesn't trust them.

instead she sends a christmas card to morgan freeman (papa found the address of his manager on the internet). but she doesn't ask him for anything because that wouldn't be polite & she doesn't want him to know she's discovered his secret identity.

she just says merry christmas.

hey, look out you're still in slip mode! thanks but now i'm in batch capture…

sometimes polly stuffs clickitty into one of papa's equipment cases so he can go to work with him. clickitty says he likes to go to the club so he can listen to new music & be out with stuffed animals his own age.

polly doesn't mind except click always comes back smelling like cigarettes & then she has to wash him. the washer has a window so she can watch. click goes round & round in the washer & gets seasick. then he goes round & round in the dryer & gets airsick. then polly has to put him to bed for the rest of the day.

polly has a joke for you!

(this one has a little swearing in it)

knock knock..
who's there?
madame…
madame who?
get off madame foot!

(didn't say it was funny)

manta ray

if polly can't fall asleep & she doesn't want to think about her treehouse, she pretends she's underwater swimming with a manta ray. she holds onto the ray's tail & he pulls her through the water real real fast. but his tail is rough & slippery so polly can't hold on very well. also the manta ray gets mad because he doesn't like anybody pulling his tail. finally she lets go & the ray swims off & there she is, at the bottom of the ocean, still awake.

polly's christmas cards

polly makes her own christmas cards. she draws them & then has papa scan it on the computer. this picture is from last year when polly & clickitty dressed up as a christmas angel. polly made her wings out of newspaper & coat hangers. mama wasn't too thrilled with the costume because she says they're a buddhist family but grandma said leave the child be.

polly didn't know what the big deal was. she just likes angels.

polly's xmas list

mama says you get everything you want if you write it all down & think really hard about it like when you meditate, it's called visualization.

so polly made a list:

a new jump rope

roller skates

a bicycle

a turntable

pink flipflops

vegan almond roca

vegan pecan pie

ribbons

a real kitten

a skateboard

peace on earth

vegan chocolate cake

vegan black licorice

a pirate flag

a tree house

another dolly

a football helmet

a kayak

vegan pralines

a pet raccoon

a cinderella dress

a pony

some goldfish

other stuff for my mama & papa (polly’s not sure what. yoga stuff for mama & dj stuff for papa. she’ll have to ask)

some puzzles

a snowboard

a swimming pool with dolphins in it

some vegan mexican food

a new man for grandma (when polly asked her what she wanted grandma just laughed & said a new man)

a real gold medal

a baby lion

paint & paint brushes

a dracula cape

real angel wings with real feathers

a chemistry set

mp3s for daljit

auntie serena & marie claire to stop fighting & be friends again (polly's not sure if that's really a present but that’s what she wants)

vegan strawberry shortcake

dumb video game for clickitty

a digital camera

some sunglasses

chinese pjs (shiny red ones! maybe some for daljit too)

a big dog

regular xmas dinner for anybody who wants one

and a sea turtle...

clickitty says the universe will give you whatever you ask for but only when you don't need it anymore, because the universe is ironic & whimisical.

what's the sense in that, polly wants to know. where's my sea turtle?

yes, yes y'all

polly doesn't know what that means, but it makes her mama laugh. once mama said would you like some soymilk hot chocolate polly? yes, yes y'all! polly replied. mama laughed & asked her where she heard that. polly said she heard some big girls saying it when they were doing double dutch. mama said you should've shown them how well you can skip rope too & then maybe you could make some new friends, but polly was too shy.

click says polly needs more friends that breathe air but sometimes polly doesn't listen to him.

the new coffee house

today papa took polly to a new coffee house across from the old one where they sat while he had coffee & read the paper. polly's soy hot chocolate wasn't half as good as the one marie claire makes her. polly wanted to know why they couldn't see marie claire & papa said it was complicated. polly asked why again & he said that auntie serena is mad at marie claire & if we see her then serena will get mad at mama & mama will get mad at us.

polly still didn't understand so papa said things will get better when marie claire starts laying off the sauce.

chocolate sauce? polly wondered. marie claire always put lots of chocolate in her soy hot chocolate. one time she counted 9 squirts. polly hoped she didn't get her in trouble with auntie serena. if she's not allowed to see marie claire anymore how is polly supposed to give her her christmas card?

papa was right, it's very complicated.

polly's favourite dinner

spaghetti with garlic & olive oil, vegan chicken nuggets (not morningstar! boca makes vegan chicken nuggets).

papa says she has to eat at least some protein every day, or all her hair will fall out

polly doesn't like the zoo

polly doesn't like the zoo. she wants to open all the cages & let the animals out. they can come & live with her. it isn't fair that they have to be in a cage & we get to watch them & then go home. clickitty says the animals are safer in the zoo & live longer. polly says that's not a fair trade for their freedom.

ain't no mountain high enough

polly loves to sing but not in front of people. she's shy. her favorite songs to sing are from the wizard of oz or the spice girl's first album. but one time she sang this song for her grandma who likes diana ross & the supremes. grandma says she met diana ross once at a niteclub in atlanta in the 70's but grandma also leaves food out on the porch for the civil war ghosts so polly isn't sure what to believe. but when grandma played this record polly liked the song so much that she made papa put it on an mp3 so she could learn it & next time she saw grandma she sang it for her. grandma was so happy she smiled & laughed & clapped her hands & said she wanted to take polly to church so she could sing there. grandma said polly has the voice of an angel.

polly doesn't want to sing in front of all those people but it might be ok if she can bring clickitty.

where troubles melt like lemon drops, reloaded

polly doesn't know what a lemon drop is. but one time she rolled a lemon off the counter & watched it fall to see if her troubles would melt. then she thought about it & really couldn't think of any troubles she had in the first place, so maybe it worked for her.

where troubles melt like lemon drops

polly’s favourite dvd is the wizard of oz. she watches it maybe once a week on saturday. she’d watch it every day if mama would let her. for one birthday papa took her to the movie theater so she could see dorothy on the big screen. she was so happy she cried a little. that was her favourite birthday. polly’s birthday is on halloween so she dressed up as a witch. (she always dresses up as a witch). there were a lot of people at the movie in costumes, grownups too. polly saw a lot of men dressed up as dorothy & glinda & she thought that was interesting.

click says polly likes the wizard of oz so much because it’s about a little girl who has to make adult decisions. in kansas, where it’s drab & sepia, dorothy is in the way & always gets into trouble without even trying. the adults fail her, they can’t protect her or toto from mrs. gulch. but in oz, where it’s bright & shiny, polly’s the adult. she has to protect the lion, the tinman & the scarecrow from the witch. she has to make all the critical decisions; she has to figure out how to get to oz, she has all the responsibility. really there’s only 2 adult figures in oz, glinda, who’s not very helpful & the wicked witch of the east who, let's face it, has a big problem with dorothy.

when click told polly this she said next time we watch the dvd can you just watch it & try not to think so much?

clickitty got so upset he didn’t talk to polly for almost the rest of the day.

i believe in a thing called love (just listen to the rhythm of my heart!)

clickitty likes the darkness because they remind him of the 70's guitar virtuoso bands like queen & boston & ELO. he says it's retro like rockablily in the 80's. click says it's every generation's duty to update & remake the music of their parent's. they do this to show how much cooler they are than them.

click says one day hip hop will be retro & he finds that ironic.

polly knows anytime clickitty says something's "ironic" she probably won't understand what he's talking about.

snowman buddha

polly made a snowman buddha!

ok maybe she just didn't brush the snow off the buddha in the ashram's garden like mama asked her to but she will!

she just wants to show you first.

dinner at daljit's apartment

polly likes to kick it with daljit but she doesn't like to have dinner at daljit's apartment because even though everybody's vegetarian & everything smells really good & looks really good all the food tastes like it's made of burning red hot molten lava.

soak up the sun

one time polly visited her other grandma in kona who she calls lola. she met lots of cousins & aunties & uncles & everybody was happy to see her & smiled a lot. polly saw sea turtles & dolphins & played frisbee with her cousins and a dog named howly. nobody made fun of clickitty or even cared that polly brought him everywhere, even to the beach. polly stayed up late & the cousins had a big party on the beach & lit a bonfire. one of her cousins had a guitar and sang this song. everybody sang along, even polly.

she had a great time until she saw the roasted pig & that made her cry.